Twas the morning before Christmas, and all through the office, not a creature was stirring, but me and my mouse. The code was checked in to the repo with care, in hopes a new feature soon would be there.
I sit in my sweater and hear the keys tap. I’m thinking of taking a stare-at-the-screen nap. When out in the server room there arose such a clatter. I jumped from my desk to see what was the matter. Away to the NOC I flew like a flash. Tore open the door and stroked my mustache.
The LEDs in the rack set the room all aglow, and gave a luster of blue and red, don’t you know? When what to my bloodshot eyes should appear, but a shower of sparks shooting out from the rear.
Out popped a fat man who ran out plenty quick, I knew in a moment it must be saint Nick. You bastard! I cried, and I called for my crew. Now, Mike!, Now Matt!, Now Jeremy!, Matt and Chicago Matt too! To the top of the building! Climb up that side wall! And get that fat jerk before his deer dash away all!
When we got to the top we had missed him by seconds, and the feeling in my gut was very much unpleasant. Back down in the server room the hard drives had been pulled, the tapes were all strewn out, and it was starting to flood.
That bastard had blown some metal filings in the air intake, then the power went out and it was all I could take. I went down to the bar and ordered a brew, then ordered 10 whiskeys and downed them all too.
When I came back to the office and threw up on the floor. The boss handed my my last paycheck and kicked me out the door. I got a new offer the very next day, making much more than double the pay. Thank you Santa, for this Christmas-time gift. Next year I’m definitely leaving you a tip.